I'm A Victim of Nostalgia

I say ‘victim’ because it’s not just me looking back and feeling joy over some nice things that happened a while ago. 

 

No. When I look back in time my rose coloured glasses rival Elton Johns. 

 

I’ll prove it. 

 

Last year, we took our family to Punta Cana. It was a lovely trip. One that we are all desperate to relive. My five year old asks us weekly when we are going back. He wants to move there. (Something about free food). 

 

We spent a week lying on the beach, playing in the ocean, visiting the waterpark, eating ice cream and drinking sugar filled drinks. If you’ve never had a Bahama Mama you don’t know what you’re missing. 

 

The kids even got along well enough to share a room, and a triple bunk bed for an entire week, with zero fighting. (Probably not true, but I don’t remember them fighting, I had my rose glasses on). 

 

Sounds glorious right? 

 

Wrong. The day we got there I was super sick. I spent the first night powering through, but I had a migraine that could have taken down a bull. I thought it was from travelling (you know how an airport and a dry aeroplane can take its toll). 

 

But the migraine persisted. Day two, I pushed through and went to the beach with the kids. It was lovely. But come dinner time, I was a wreck. The migraine brought me to tears. I had to lay in a dark room, pump myself full of meds, and sleep. I missed dinner, missed ice cream, missed all the fun. 

 

A couple of days later I was feeling a lot better, provided I stuck to a strict regimen of Extra Strength Advil. 

 

But then, my eldest, my porcelain skinned son, got heat stroke. Even though we slathered him in sunscreen, hung out in the shade almost exclusively, my polar bear of a kid couldn’t take it. He started throwing up in the shower after a day at the beach.

 

My daughter got a bad sunburn on her thighs of all places. A result of sitting and playing in the sand for hours and hours, and was in quite a lot of pain. So much so that she had to wear her brother's bathing suit for the rest of the trip so her little legs were more protected. 

 

But now, a year later, we all want to go back. We are longing for the beach and the sand and the water. Even though we were plagued with sickness and heat stroke and sunburns (I promise we slathered them in sunscreen, but if you know my kids, 2 out of the 3 are practically translucent) we are aching for Punta Cana.

 

What was it about that vacation, which was far from perfect, that makes us desperate to experience it all over again? 

 

It certainly wasn’t the migraines, the heat stroke, or the burnt skin that we’re longing for, and the all-inclusive buffet is nice at first, but gets pretty boring after a few meals.

 

I realised that the draw for vacation is time. Time to stop and reset. Time to spend together without the chaos of our regular schedule. 

 

We played cards, we dug in the sand, we just existed together, all of us, no distractions, no timeline. Even if we were feeling miserable, we still got to spend uninterrupted time together, without the pressures of regular life. Plus the wifi sucked, so no one had decent access to their iPads.

 

We are busy all of the time. We have work, school, sports, chores, responsibilities. None of which we can or want to get rid of, but it can be a lot. It doesn’t leave much time for slow living.

 

Unfortunately, after all of this story telling I don’t actually have an answer for you. I don’t know how to balance it all, or create some magical land where time doesn’t exist and we can do all the things equally and consistently. 

 

All I can say is that having this awareness that myself and my family crave time together makes it easier to be intentional about leaving space these moments. 

 

Something always has to give, but we get to choose what gives. 

 

We aren’t packing our suitcases for Punta Cana any time soon, but fortunately the best thing about our trip wasn’t the beach, or the Bahama Mamas, it was the people we shared it with. And those people are right here. 

 

P.S. Who are the people that you would like to spend a holiday with? How can you create quality time with those people now, even if a vacation isn’t in the cards?