Wherever you go, there you are

A handful of years ago I delivered a group coaching session on mindfulness. (Did you know that I’m a leadership coach?!?) 

 

Let me tell you, the pushback around this topic was immense. It was an idea that a lot of people didn’t understand or felt was too “fluffy” for the workplace. 

 

I powered through the session, listened to their perspectives, and tried to allow space for this groups’ feelings on the topic. I also cried in the bathroom. Not professional, but there I was. I had put a lot of time and effort into designing this session and they tore it apart. Mob mentality. 

 

As I collected myself I thought about my choices:

 

Choice #1 -  I could go back out there and let them know that they were all a bunch of dooty heads that didn’t know the first thing about anything, which might have resulted in a less than favourable outcome for me.  

 

Choice #2 - Go back and fight them professionally explain to them why I was right and they were wrong, which defeats the purpose of coaching. 

 

Choice #3 - Get through the session and be upset about it later. Better, but still not great. 

 

Choice # 4 - Calmly listen to their ideas and thoughts on the topic. Ask questions that challenged their assumptions, and provide a little bit more information where it was appropriate. The perfect coaching response to this type of situation. 

 

Guess what I chose?

 

I chose number 3. Not my worst moment, and not my finest either. 

 

I listened and responded and tried my darnedest to lean into choice #4 but I was a bit too fragile to truly let their feelings about this mindfulness session just be a reflection of their discomfort with the topic and not a reflection of me or my work. 

 

Side note: I was pregnant at the time, which gives you some insight on my heightened emotional state. 

 

Luckily, I was delivering this session alongside a more experienced, seemingly unshakable coach, which gave me a bit of a reprieve. 😮‍💨

 

 

The thing about mindfulness is that it isn’t really that complicated. It isn’t fluffy. It’s just the practice of “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” It doesn’t require candles or a special pillow (even though I love those things), it just requires you to pay attention more closely. 

 

Jon Kabat-Zinn is an expert in meditation and mindfulness.  His book “Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life” was published in 1994, and was an instant bestseller. Thirty years later, his definition of mindfulness is still widely accepted among psychologists, mindfulness experts, and medical professionals. 

 

“Wherever you go, there you are” is a phrase that has stuck with me. This idea that you can put a bandaid on a lot of things, you can move, change jobs, break up, cut your hair, but at the end of the day, you are still you. 

 

Until you look in the mirror and begin to develop a real awareness of who you are, nothing will really change. 

 

So now we’re down the road a bit, and I’m able to tell you that I am at peace with the mindfulness session from hell. It wasn’t delivered poorly, and I didn’t screw up. The people in that room just had feelings and that’s okay. It was an uncomfortable topic for them.

 

Boomers amiright? 

 

The irony of this story is that it was my own mindful practice that got me through that session. I could have easily let my emotion mind take over, and let me tell you, it was raring to go. I could have just given everyone a piece of my mind. But what would that have accomplished?

 

Luckily, I had enough practice in this space that I was able to take a breath, quickly go over my choices, and decide how I wanted to show up.

 

It's a simple idea. Easy to accomplish? No. It takes practice.

 

It wasn’t perfect, but it got me through, and everyone came out relatively unscathed, and hopefully with a bit more information and awareness about themselves.  

 

Mindfulness is a tool in which we can use to “take charge of the direction and quality of our own lives.” 

 

A Moment of Peace is just that. An opportunity, a reminder, to see the beauty that lies before you. Big or small, it is there for you to witness if you choose to pay attention to it.

 

 

P.S. Curious about the book? I've linked it below 🙂